Who's Uncle Joe

Due to circumstances beyond my control Bury Bob has been part of my life since I was seventeen.

Looking back it wasn't so much circumstances.......

My sister Vinegar Vera was always ...how can I say this so you won't get the wrong idea....erm ok....she was a right slag.

Anyway when she was 16 she got pregnant to a Jamaican Pizza shop owner, known as Rasta Pasta, who after discussing it with the family decided it would be a good idea to marry our Vera.

Unfortunately, the marriage was not made in heaven and within a year Vera and little Bugalloo, as her firstborn was called , were back living with my mam and dad and me.

Vera went back to her old ways and was soon pregnant again, this time there were so many candidates for the position of dad that the family didn't bother trying  to sort things out.

Vera managed to get a council flat by giving her social worker regular blow jobs and had a not so beautiful baby boy, which she called Robert.

She decided that a career as an independent sex industry worker, as they would call it  these days, was her best option..

In those days we just called em prozzies.

Within a year Vera was earning good money despite not being blessed in the looks department and was now spending most her day on her back working or sleeping.

Her social worker...who wasnt getting his free blow jobs anymore...grassed her up to social services and got the kids put into care. Vera was over the moon.....free at last.

Bugaloo was taken in by a nice black family from Moss Side and became a very successful pram salesman and Bob came to live with us.